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Friday 16 March 2007

Comic Relief! Saucy.



http://www.rednoseday.com/

It is Red Nose Day in the UK. Comic Relief. And, as you can see, the Middle Man has entered into the spirit of things. Hilarious isn't it? Aren't I?

Comic Relief is a charity event in the UK, when comedians of all shapes, and degrees of funniness attempt to persuade us to make donations in aid of children's charities in the UK and in Africa.

Actually, I would encourage all of you to make a donation. Please click on the link above to find out how. I will be getting Mr Plastic out later and making a pledge. And so should you. Anything that you can afford. Go on.

People do stupid, funny things on Red Nose Day, to raise money. You know like wearing funny ears in the office, sitting in a bath of Baked Beans, or, like the lad in Sainsburys last weekend, getting your legs waxed.....

So, that is how C and I will be spending the evening: watching Comic Relief, still wondering why anyone should find Little Britain the slightest bit funny, crying at all the stories about starving children in Africa and disadvantaged ASBO-fodder closer to home, and, trying to forget the guilt we are supposed to be feeling about all those CO2 emissions we will be pouring out on our long-haul flight to Thailand next week. One week to go. Hooray!

Actually, thinking about Baked Beans (have you been paying attention?), has reminded me that today is a very, very, very sad day. HP sauce is no more. The great British sauce is gone.

It is difficult to describe to people who have not tasted HP sauce what it tastes like. It is brown, sticky, sweet and spicy. I had some on my pizza last night. It is considered to be very working class and it so reminds me of my childhood. Chips and HP. Cheese and HP sauce sandwiches. Baked Beans on toast and HP. Cheese on toast and HP. HP butties. Actually, the last meal I ever had as a bachelor, in a greasy spoon in downtown Buxton, was double egg and chips and HP. Heaven.

So, today is a very sad day. The HP factory in Birmingham (opposite BRMB Radio and next to the mounted police stables) has closed. I used to pass it on the bus every school day. On the way there. On the way home. What a smell. Production has apparently moved to the Netherlands, home of McCain oven chips. Well, what do the Cloggies know about food anyway? Cheese and tomato with every meal, including breakfast. Their national speciality of croquettes and bitte ballen - deep-fried meat paste balls coated in breadcrumbs. That is as good as it gets in Holland. Actually, it sounds like the perfect place to take HP. Maybe edam cheese sandwiches will taste of something other than the plastic coating at last.

Remember people. Make a donation.

https://www.rednoseday.com/donation/

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